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Christopher Ricks Comes Pounding On Dead Beat’s Door

by Dead Beat on February 13, 2007

So Ricks comes pounding on Dead Beat’s door.

“OPEN UP, CHARLATON. I KNOW YOU ARE IN THERE!”

“Hold your horses, Christy. I’m coming. I’m coming.”

I open the door and Ricks is fuming. Smoke from every capitol orifice.

“What’s your beef, C.R.?”

“What’s my beef, Dead Beat? I’ll tell you what’s my beef. You stole my words. You printed them in your so called literary blog without any thought for copyrite.”

“Whoh, Chris Ricks. Steady now boy. You the defender of Bob Dylan and all that. Well renowned horse thief of words. Check out Modern Times for heavens’ sake. His appropriation of Henry Timrod.”

“Dylan’s a genius, Dead Beat.”

“My point exactly. Besides Timrod, for instance, Modern Times taps into the Bible, Robert Johnson, Memphis Minnie, Kokomo Arnold, Muddy Waters, Sonny Boy Williamson, Blind Lemon Jefferson, the Stanley Brothers, Merle Haggard, Hoagy Carmichael, Cole Porter, Jerome Kern, standards popularized by Jeanette MacDonald, Bing Crosby, and Frank Sinatra, as well as vintage folk songs such as “Wild Mountain Thyme,” “Frankie and Albert,” and “Gentle Nettie Moore. don’t think I don’t know it, Ricksy.”

“I didn’t know that Dead Beat.”

“I thought you thought you knew everything.”

“I’m close to perfect Dead Beat. I never claimed beyond that. You did like my words anyway.”

“I loved them Ricks. Maybe you’re a genius too.”

“Close to Dead Beat.”

“I know, you never claimed beyond that.”

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